It’s not just the South

A Flaming Cross for Christmas? Only if youre willing to donate $81.85 to the American Family Association.

A Flaming Cross for Christmas? Only if you're willing to donate $81.85 to the American Family Association.

The American Family Association is selling this: a flaming cross for your front yard for Christmas. Why, you ask? Well, I can’t be sure, exactly why they would sell this kind of crap for Christmas – except that maybe they’re buying into Bill O’Reilly’s crap about there being a war on Christmas. Or perhaps they’ve just now caught on that buying all this crap at the Christmas season isn’t exactly what Christ or Christmas are about… but wait, they’re selling this crap, so nope – they still don’t get it. They’re just as commercialist, capitalist, consumerist, and profit-driven as Wal-Mart. Yet they purport to be the defender of family values. Yep, I want my kid to believe that they need a burning cross on their front yard to prove how close they are to God. Below is what their Web site said about this thing – and why you should buy it.

Let Your “Light” Shine For Christ This Christmas Season!

Looking for an effective way to express your Christian faith this Christmas season to honor our Lord Jesus? Now you can…. with the “Original Christmas Cross” yard decoration.
Light up your front yard, porch, patio, driveway, business, organization or church this holiday season with a stunning Christmas cross.

This beautiful Christmas Cross is 5.5 feet tall, with 210 individual ultra bright lights. SHIPPING IS INCLUDED!

Assembles in just minutes! Includes simple instructions and requires only a screwdriver. The cross is compact when not in use. And of course, it’s weather-proof.
Decorate this holiday season with the Original Christmas Cross to remind your friends, family, neighbors, and all who drive by your home, office, or church of the real meaning of Christmas. You won’t find the Original Christmas Cross in stores, so order online today!
PLEASE NOTE: This product ships directly from the distributor. If you wish to order other products at this time from the AFA Online Store, please make a seperate order.

OH, and all the typos – they belong to the AFA. Here are a few things I noticed:

1. It’s the “Original Christmas Cross,” but in all my readings of Christmas stories, I don’t remember a single time when Jesus was set on fire – nor was his cross. I think the Romans believed in recycling and that the week after Jesus was crucified, some thief was hung on it.

2. It assembles in minutes, requires only a screwdriver, folds up and fits under your bed, and it’s weather-proof. Yep, it’s JUST like your Klan hood. Wow… if we ever doubted that the KKK ran the AFA, we need look no further for proof.

3. This thing is supposed to remind people of the real meaning of Christmas… racism? I mean, I see burning crosses and I think racism, the Klan, and a bunch of guys I grew up with getting drunk and falling into a fire they couldn’t control… So, the real meaning of Christmas according to this thing is racism and stupidity. Got it. I’ll take note and remember that for future reference.

One Response to “It’s not just the South”
  1. Grégoire says:

    If you didn’t laugh, you’d just *despair*, I sweartagawd.

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