Sleep Paralysis and Del Shores

I *woke* up this morning to an episode of sleep paralysis. Haven’t had one of those in years… They’re always really creepy, and always bring me back to that disorientation thing. It’s like the ultimate in what I’ve always told my counselors (you know, we all need those, and I”m thankful for free ones through school – especially my counselor in undergrad – Maggie was phenomenal!) – that I live inside my head. My whole body is literally paralyzed and my brain is working overtime, especially when it comes to fear/terror. Living in your head can be a bad thing, apparently.

Later, I got to interview Del Shores, writer/producer of Sordid Lives – the play, the film, and LOGO’s new TV series. I’m not using my blog as a plug, but after interviewing him, I sent the wifey to the vid store to rent a copy – she ended up buying it. Now we’re officially queer, and my white trash points are growing. Watching the movie again tonight, I kept thinking – this is my family… all wrapped up in a pretty made-for-laughs package. Interviewing him, I felt completely disoriented, though, because I’m not a celebrity fanstalker – paparazzi is not my dreamjob. In fact, I find it slightly degrading to pretend that I’m ever a fan of anyone. I am a fan of Del Shores, but I refuse to show deference to people because they have money. Blame it on the trailer park in me. I have to say, I don’t think Del Shores demands that kind of stuff, but when I was interviewing Jackie Collins, I sure as hell felt it. It was oddly worse when I was interviewing Kate Bornstein a few years ago… if you care, I’ll write more about that later, but I can’t handle the arrogance that often comes from being in the spotlight – or demanding to be in the spotlight more than you are. I just can’t handle arrogance, in general. It’s either a Southern thing or a trailer park thing… any thoughts, y’all? Put it in the comments, I’m not sure where to go with this.

Must go to bed now, but scared the sleep paralysis will hit me again… it probably will since I’m scared of it. I read somewhere they prescribe Klonopins for it when you have it often… I don’t think it’s that bad – haven’t had it in 2 years. Weird thing, I called my mom to talk to her about it, and she had it this morning, too! I love my mom, and I know we’re almost genetically identical – I think the X chromosome from the sperm donor (figuratively, not literally – there’s no “dad” in my life) became the barr body or something, and the X from the egg spit all its genetic material into my phenotype. I’ll post pics sometime soon – you’ll see what I mean. Luckily, I didn’t get her dyslexia. My little brother got that – the youngest one. Although sometimes i put numbers backwards – it’s not nearly as bad as his or hers. anyway, my mom’s still the one person who can make me feel like things are going to be okay at certain times. the wife is incredible, but as I was crying and yelling at her this morning because she couldn’t hear me screaming, she started laughing – she obviously didn’t mean anything bad by it, but it seemed very serious to me at the time. Of course, thinking back about how I must have looked to her – telling her I had been screaming at the top of my lungs, when no sound was coming out, and tears streaming down my face, and yelling at her because she couldn’t hear my silent screaming, and convinced that I had actually had a seizure in my sleep – I’m sure I looked funny… I honestly would have laughed at myself. And kind of am now because I’m outside of the situation. She’s also epileptic and would have recognized a seizure in a minute… duh. I think i also mentioned thinking that I had had a stroke – but no signs of that, either. yea. one freaky day. and by the way, the title of this post makes no sense – the two things are not at all related to each other.


3 Responses to “Sleep Paralysis and Del Shores”
  1. sherry says:

    thank you for your kind words toward del shores. he is one of the nicest, down to earth people i have ever met.

  2. Thanks, Sherry. I also think Del was extremely nice. I think his Southern charm hasn’t faded into the Hollywood scene, and that’s nice to see.


  3. Sleep paralysis are creepy stuff huh. Haha.

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