This is where I office.

On the subject of dreams…

So, last night I had a strange dream. This is not unusual for me, but this one really hit me hard because I think it’s about exactly how I’m feeling right now. In the dream, I had a baby. But, I didn’t have enough milk to feed it for the first two days of its … Continue reading

Family Reunions

Family reunions are strange little events. You meet these people you never knew existed, but somehow, you know they feel like they have a connection to you. Do they? Yesterday, I went to the James Elbert Hall reunion in Hickory, NC. There were people I knew there. There were interesting tidbits of information floating around … Continue reading

The hardest thing I’ve ever done…

So, the fall semester started a few weeks ago. I teach a section of Social Diversity. This course becomes personal for my students and for me because there’s no point in talking about diversity (real diversity, not that fluffy-we-celebrate-cinco-de-mayo stuff) without an eye for personal transformation. So, my students and I share a lot of … Continue reading

about ultimatums…

When you give someone an ultimatum, there are simply two choices: The choice you want the person to make. and The choice you hope with all your heart they won’t make.

hard lessons i thought i already learned…

This week, I seem to be relearning lessons I thought I had learned along time ago. 1. People leave. 2. People say they’ll stay, but they leave. 3. People can’t handle when others go crazy. 4. I like to chase off the people I need. 5. I don’t really need some people. I just think … Continue reading

things you shouldn’t do to children…

So, there are two stories my mother tells about my childhood that have been running through my head lately.  I have an incredible memory for details about my childhood, but I only really remember one of these stories. The thing to note here is that my mother tells them with laughter – she thinks they’re … Continue reading

Really strange day of ups and downs…

The last few days have been really up and down for me. One thing happens, then another, and I really don’t know what to expect next. Last night, we had one of the 5-hour marathons we haven’t had in years now. Loveliness. Plus, brownies in bed in the wee hours. Then, brownies for breakfast with … Continue reading

a letter i actually sent

Dear Mom, This is really hard for me to write. Before you go any further, I need you to know I love you. I need a break from you. I realized as I was leaving for Ira’s house and you asked me to buy a bag of pot for you that you came here because … Continue reading

dealing with shrapnel

There’s a lot of shit in my head right now. That’s not even doing justice to what’s going on. But I’m learning a lot this week: 1. Some people still call it an “urn” when they want something to put coffee in. This is confusing when the person on the other end of the phone … Continue reading

a letter I’ll never send

I really wish I could forgive you. But there are things for which forgiveness just won’t form inside my chest. You had no business having a child. But I’m here. I have a brain and a heart and a soul that crave a mother’s love and generosity. I’ll never forgive you for never giving me … Continue reading